The Following IS NOT A JOKE

The text excerpt below is from the Village Voice. The document pictured is a British Petroleum internal memo they have confirmed as authentic.

- “BP’s Three Pigs metaphor actually originated with a lawyer suing BP over BP worker deaths in a 2005 Texas refinery explosion. The lawyer, Brent Coone, found BP internal notes about housing their employees in explosion-vulnerable structures during the working day. In court, he equated these structures with the pigs’ houses, which received objections by BP’s lawyers during the trial. Further down the road in discovery, though, he later found this:”

THATS RIGHT KIDS! Which type of house should the piggy build? Perhaps the kind of house that will blow up in your fucking face incinerating employees, destroying all life in the ocean, bankrupt millions, and then cause a cancer epidemic that ripples up the food-chain. No, really… but thats funny, I’m sure John Stewart and Wonkette will get a long belly chuckle out of this sinister goddamn corporate attitude. 

- “$1000/piggy’s life” - This is worse than crack-dealer hobo hitman math. No wait… I’d actually rather deal with Charles Manson, his standards were a few threads above Tony Hayward and BP.

Perhaps I was wrong about these guys and their serious need to end up in permanent lockdown drinking maggoty toilette wine. They could easily make the case for criminal insanity in court. I can’t even write about this anymore, I’m gonna fly off the handle, so read more about it somewhere else if you need to.